


Nerves

by JaceofAllTrade



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Fear of needles and shots basically, Gen, HRT Process, Syringes/Shots, Trans Male Character, Trypanophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceofAllTrade/pseuds/JaceofAllTrade
Summary: Itaru helps Chikage with his T shot.
Relationships: Chigasaki Itaru & Utsuki Chikage
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	Nerves

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely self-indulgent

Chikage left a while ago.

Itaru wasn’t particularly nosy to Chikage’s business as it was a silent agreement for them, but usually, if Chikage wasn’t sleeping in their room, he’d at least send a text. However, Chikage’s phone was still in their room and he was normally holed in their room by this time to hide away from being further pulled into other shenanigans by their fellow dorm mates so something had to be up.

After another twenty minutes passed and there was still no sign of Chikage, Itaru pulled off his headphones and looked around their room again, just to see if Chikage was just out of his sight. He frowned when he still didn’t find his roommate before stepping out of their room to go look for him. The night breeze was nice and cool, subtle as if it was shy. Pulling his hair tie out, Itaru brushed his hair from his eyes and sighed, “Okay Senpai, time to play hide-and-seek.”

His first stop was the lounge which was still buzzing with the other members of Mankai—Tsumugi was helping Taichi at the dinner table, Sakuya and Tasuku were talking about something during one of their plays, Omi, Tsuzuru, and Guy seemed to be discussing meal preparations for the next week.

No Chikage in sight though.

“Something wrong, Itaru-san?”

Itaru turned to the voice to find Sakuya watching him worriedly. He must’ve noticed that he was looking around. “Ah, I was just wondering if you’d seen Senpai anywhere.”

Sakuya shook his head, “Not since dinner. Maybe he left?”

“Phone’s still here,” Itaru replied and looked around the lounge once more for clues.

“Car’s still here too when I grabbed something from my car earlier,” Tasuku offered as Itaru sighed.

“Okay thanks, lmk if he stumbles in here.”

“Need help?” Tasuku asked.

Itaru waved his hand in dismissal, “No, it’s alright. It’s probably just nothing anyway. Thanks though.” With that, Itaru made his way over to the stairs to check the second-floor lounge and the balcony, both devoid of life. After looking over the balcony to see if Chikage was just at the front of the dorms, Itaru sighed heavily and deflated slightly, peeling himself away from the railing and going over to the courtyard. Grabbing onto the railing, he peered down and spotted that room 201’s door was open, seeing Tenma, Yuki, Banri, and Juza carrying boxes of supplies out of the room and probably transferring them to the second-floor rehearsal room.

“Itaru.”

Practically jumping fifteen feet into the air, Itaru clung onto the railing as his heartbeat skyrocketed and turned to see Hisoka there. “Holy fucking shit,” Itaru breathed out and placed a hand over his heart as if that’d help him calm down. “Please stop doing that, I’m gonna get heart failure one of these days.”

As Hisoka’s gaze lifted up to meet Itaru’s eyes, something in his visible eye sharpened as Itaru frowned.

“Why do I have a feeling that you know something?”

“... Remember how I always found myself checking the washroom at a specific time every week with no explanation as to why because I couldn’t remember…” Instinctively, Itaru’s eyes drifted away from Hisoka as Itaru leaned a bit more over the railing to look down at the barely visible washroom door from where he was.

Then, realization dawned on him.

Turning back to Hisoka, Itaru studied him for a moment before huffing, “Have you checked yourself?”

Hisoka shook his head. “I don’t think he’d let me help.”

“But you think he’d let _me?_ ”

“... He trusts you.”

“That’s…” Itaru trailed off and straightened up. “I didn’t think Senpai was scared of anything. Much less this. Didn’t think fear was even part of his stats.”

Hisoka’s eye narrowed a bit. “Don’t.” Hisoka’s voice held this certain cadence as if warning him that continuing that line of thought was dangerous. Hell, it probably was. “He has his reasons.”

“Right.” Itaru nodded and looked away in shame. “Sorry… I’ll… Ima hope that Senpai lets me help then.” Itaru pushed off the railing and started for the stairs.

“He will.” He heard from behind him as he descended to the ground floor.

Heading to the washroom, Itaru looked around for a moment before quietly closing and locking the door and hoping to god that no one would need to use it for as long as this was going to take. Back to the door, Itaru leaned heavily onto it and clasped his hands behind his back, listening intently for any noise because clearly, Chikage didn’t want anyone to know he was in there.

“I locked the door so no one else can come in.” Itaru waited with bated breath for his senior to answer him, keeping his eyes glued to the floor as he continued to listen for any noise that Chikage made.

It was still silent for a while, but then—

“... Leave.”

Itaru shook his head, despite Chikage not being able to see him. “No can do. My Senpai needs help.”

“I don’t. I’m fine. I—”

“Senpai, we both know that’s bs and I’m not leaving until I help you take your shot.”

There was a sharp intake of breath as Itaru suppressed a sad sigh and pushed off the door before washing his hands and walking over to the stall that he knew Chikage was in. “Chigasaki…”

“Will you let me in, Senpai?”

“No.” If Chikage’s voice didn’t sound so shaken, Itaru probably would’ve considered leaving, but given the situation and given the fact that Hisoka entrusted him to take care of his brother, Itaru wasn’t leaving anytime soon no matter what.

“I’m not above crawling under the stall, y’know.”

“Chigasaki, please just—… Please just leave, I’ll be fine.”

“But you won’t be. Because it’ll be like this every week, especially if you get stuck in your head like you are right now. It’s been three hours, Senpai.” Itaru took a deep breath and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Let me help you. _Please._ ”

It took quite some time, but Itaru heard shuffling before the clasp of the door was unlocked as Itaru cautiously pushed the door open and peeked inside. Chikage was sat on the lid of the toilet and staring intently at the already prepared syringe in the middle of all the other supplies that he needed for this. Though, Itaru looked back at Chikage who sighed and didn’t meet his eyes.

“What…?” Chikage’s voice sounded distant.

“Your shirt is off.”

“Yeah, I—” Chikage cut himself off and swallowed thickly before shaking his head. “I can’t do it for some reason by just lifting my shirt. Weird, I know.”

Smiling, Itaru shook his head, “No, not weird at all. Don’t worry. I’m not laughing or judging you, Senpai. I am…” Itaru’s eyes trailed down the scar running down the length of Chikage’s side. “...concerned though…”

Chikage huffed out a strained laugh. “I’m okay.” Itaru wasn’t inclined to agree.

“Okay. Can I get closer?” After the other’s hesitant nod, Itaru made sure he was still in Chikage’s line of sight so that he wouldn’t get spooked. “I’ll be doing it for you, okay Senpai? So, lean forward a bit.”

Nodding again, Chikage took a deep breath and pulled off his glasses, leaning forward to lean on the little table and turning his head away from Itaru who crouched next to him.

“Do you want me to narrate?”

“Just get on with it,” Chikage bit back, his voice muffled by his arm. “Please Chigasaki.”

“Okay,” Itaru reached over and pulled out an alcohol wipe from the package, carefully wiping over a spot on Chikage’s stomach as his senior was tense the whole time. He paused. “Senpai, do you have your hearing aids in?” Itaru couldn’t tell from the angle he was at.

“... Yeah.”

“Can you do me a favor and take them out?”

“What? Why?”

“Just trust me on this, Senpai.”

Without replying, Chikage reached up and pulled off his hearing aids as Itaru pulled out his phone and clicked on a random playlist on his phone, maxing out the volume and putting it on top of Chikage’s bundled up shirt and jacket in a way so the sound was mostly muffled but sent vibrations that’d hopefully ease or distract him somewhat.

After that, Itaru tossed the wipe in the trash and picked up the syringe, uncapping it and watched Chikage for a moment. Impulsively, he reached up and rubbed his back assuringly, leaning closer to whisper “It’s okay Senpai. You’re okay” before pulling away and pinching at Chikage’s stomach. Keeping it swift, Itaru pushed the syringe in and emptied it before quickly pulling it out and capping it to drop into the sharps container. He went right back to rubbing Chikage’s back and saying encouraging phrases to him as Chikage worked on controlling his breathing. It wasn’t until Chikage was much less tense and his breathing was less rapid did Itaru pull away completely.

Letting Chikage continue to calm down, Itaru worked on cleaning up everything else and handed Chikage a napkin to wipe at the drop of blood. As he worked on sealing everything up and putting them in their proper bags, Itaru glanced at Chikage who was staring at him.

“Hi.” 

“Hello.”

“How’s your HP?”

“... Regenerating…”

Itaru smiled and turned back to the task at hand, “That’s good.”

“Chigasaki.”

“Hm?”

“A thought occurred to me.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“I… How did you know what to do? I hadn’t explained the process to you.” With a patient smile, Itaru simply settled him with a look that seemed to answer Chikage’s question. “Oh…” Chikage said. “Well, now I feel stupid.”

Itaru chuckled, “You’re not. Just a little slow.” Itaru picked up the bag and sharps container, motioning for Chikage to follow. “Come on. At least now you don’t have to do this in the washroom anymore and just do it in our room, and… I’ll help.” Itaru led the way out of the washroom. “Always.”

“... Thank you, Chigasaki, I… I appreciate it. A lot. More than you know.”

“That’s a lot of words of gratitude.” Itaru opened the door to their room and gestured for Chikage to walk in first but the other didn’t move.

“It’s just… I had someone help me before too.” This was a strangely honest Chikage tonight.

“Hisoka?”

Chikage looked away from him then and shook his head, “No, I… He was… someone important to me. To us.”

“Well, you still don’t have to do it alone, Senpai. I promise I’m here for you.”

“Thank you…”


End file.
